THE LEGENDARY PINK DOTS
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Release date and track list
December 1, 2023
UK MP3 self-released on Bandcamp
- Golden Redeemer
- Seasonal Chill
Credits
- The Legendary Pink Dots
Notes
The tradition is maintained….
These tracks will also be released as part of Festive IV, a homemade CDR compilation of Christmas Specials from 2022 and 2023 as well as the Hallowe’en Special from 2023.
Lyrics
GOLDEN REDEEMER
The order was unambiguous…………
“Everything has to go… Every creature…. The great and the small. The microscopic, the gargantuan and everything in between. All that buzzes, all that swims, all that slithers, all that walks. Two legs, four legs, no legs, 100 legs. Everything….. make sure it’s painless”.
Officers Iz and Itso regretted their mission but Planet 51963 was truly a liability.
It seemed like such a bold experiment way back in the past. The benefits of a perpetual struggle. Dog eat dog, big fish eats small fish, while the bipeds ate everything………….Two legs, four legs, no legs, 100 legs.
But now those bipeds were looking at the stars, and they would surely get there and plant flags, exploit the new lands, dominate the new lands… Officers Iz and Itso took their orders from The Guardians whose sole purpose was to preserve balance in a fragile Universe. However, that curiously beautiful Planet 51963 now seemed destined to upset the balance and pollute that vast expanse.
An antidote had been prepared. The end would be swift and painless, beginning with the first sentient creature the officers encountered, then going on to sweep the globe. It was a bit like deleting a folder stuffed with corrupted files.
Two legs, four legs, no legs,100 legs.
Mournfully the pair stalked the forest. Officer Iz spoke into his communicator…..”Trees live. Shall we administer? ”
Central Command dismissed the idea, “We do not consider them to be sentient”
Grimly the officers walked on. There were flies, bees, ants and again the question was posed, “Shall we administer?”
“Negative!” came the curt reply. Then the opportunity arrived at last. A creature with four legs, long ears, a longer tongue and a special kind of self awareness. “The creature is sentient. Shall we administer?” barked Officer Iz.
“Affirmative” came the reply.
A golden retriever eccentrically named Captain Pondpot bounded towards the strange beings. Maybe they wanted to play…Officer Iz prepared to administer the potion to this rather affable creature. Then it happened. Pondpot…LICKED … the Officer’s glove.
Mother!! That first love!! Ice cream on the shores of the great sea of Planet Purity. Image after image. OVERWHELMING EMOTION…….”I cannot administer” wept Officer Iz.
His partner snatched the communicator. “Central Command.. Shall I administer?” he shouted. But there was no reply, only the bubbly sound of radiophonic sobbing.
Clearly a decision was needed.
In the meantime Pondpot had sunk his teeth into a disheveled and foul smelling tennis ball.
“I must administer”, Officer Itso muttered to no-one in particular.
Still, the good Captain prodded him with the ball – he wanted the officer to throw it.
Mother!!!! Sweet Selina on their wedding night! The nectar from God’s own garden…..An emotional EARTHQUAKE!!!
He could not administer.
At last the command came from the mother ship where a large audience had gathered around a screen.”Return to base” croaked the emotional commander.” It seems the experiment was a success after all”
Captain Pondpot chewed on a mud pie and bounded off in the direction of a distant light. A slightly disappointing day as no one had thrown the ball for him, but at least he had saved the World
HAPPY SOLSTICE EVERYONE EVERYWHERE.
