THE LEGENDARY PINK DOTS

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Release date and tracklist

1984
NL LP Ding Dong Tapes and Records DDD 3333

1985
NL LP Torso 33 007  (different cover))

live side

1. MMMMMMMMMMMM… – [MP3]
2. Geisha Mermaid – [MP3]
3. The Heretic – [MP3]
4. Jungle – [MP3]

love side

1. The Lovers (Part 1) – [MP3]
2. Silverture – [MP3]
3. Flowers For The Silverman – [MP3]
4. The Lovers (Part 2) – [MP3]

***
1991
BE CD Play It Again Sam BIAS109

THE LEGENDARY PINK DOTS

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Release date and tracklist

1985
FR CS Bain Total K24

side a

1. Premonition 8
2. Flesh Parade
3. Purity
4. Purified
5. Forgotten
6. Davritt

side b

1. Outsider
2. Invocation
3. Love In A Plain Brown Envelope
4. Love On A Stained Glass Window
5. Close Your Eyes, You Can Be A Space Captain
6. Premonition 9

***
1996
NL CD Terminal Kaleidoscope TEKA666

2003
PL CD Big Blue SPV-L 0142 (different cover)
? MP3 on Itunes

1. Prayer for Aradia Part One:
   Premonition 8
   Flesh Parade
   Purity
   Purified
   Forgotten
   Davritt
2. Prayer for Aradia Part Two:
   Outsider
   Invocation
   Love In A Plain Brown Envelope No. 1
   Love On A Stained Glass Window
   Space Captain No. 1
   Premonition 9
3. Premonition 5
4. A Spanish Bridge
5. Stoned Obit 1980
6. Peace Crime 2
7. Professional
8. Brill
9. Sensory Deprivation
10. Temper Temper
11. Amphitheatre Shuffle
12. Before The End
13. Fin

***
December 30, 2014
NL Remastered MP3 self-released on Bandcamp

January 8, 2015
NL Remastered CD-r self-released on Bandcamp

1. Prayer for Aradia Part 1 (“Premonition 8”, “Flesh Parade”, “Purity”, “Purified”, “Forgotten”, “Davritt”)
2. Prayer for Aradia Part 2 (“Outsider (aka ‘The Heretic”);8.”Invocation”;9.”Love In A Plain Brown Envelope”; 4.”Love On A Stained Glass Window”;5.”Close Your Eyes,You Can Be A Space Captain”;6.”Premonition 9″)

Credits

• Edward Ka-Spel – vox and keyboards
• The Silverman – keyboards
• April White- keys on “Forgotten”
• Roland Callaway- bass on “Forgotten”, “Purity”,”Close Your Eyes…”, “Outsider”
• Keith Thompson- drums on “Purity”, “Close Your Eyes”,”Outsider”
• Michael Marshall-guitar on “Close Your Eyes..”

TEKA cover art- Elke
Big Blue Cover- Zdzislaw Beksinski

Notes

“Outsider” is an early version of “The Heretic” from The Lovers

Cassette:
30 min. Tape wrapped in a plastic box looking like a normal one for cassette but bigger (14cm/11cm/1,5cm)!
Plastic box manufactured by Rovip SA France
Second edition in regular snapcase.
CD:
Re-release of the 1982 cassette-only release plus extra material.
TEKA- Edition of 1,100 copies.
Track 1 contains all the tracks on side A of the original cassette release, total playing time 12:35.
Track 2 contains all the tracks on side B of the original cassette release, total playing time 14:32.
Track 3 is taken from the compilation release ‘Rising From The Red Sand’ cassette compilation.
Tracks 4 and 5 are previously unreleased.
Tracks 6 to 13 are taken from the ‘Chemical Playschool vol. 1+2’ cassette release.

Dedicated to the memory of Tomasz Beksinski

‘Second Birth. Sing While You May. Lazhmelih’

From Bandcamp:
1981-1982. LPDs in a state of flux…changes, more changes. This cassette album was released by Bain Total in France 2 years after the master tape was delivered.  It’s quite a delightful 30 minutes too and the restoration has worked well.
Lovingly home made cdr containing 2014 restoration /remaster of the original cassette. Card cover, edition of 199.

Lyrics

Premonition 8 (Instrumental)

Flesh Parade

Up before the Flesh Parade: the pretty faces, bedroom eyes, pouting lips. The longing thighs say, “Come in for a night, you won’t regret it – but don’t make any plans.” She likes a man, but a hand is just as effective. A mutual need. No need to talk. No moonlit walks, no sun-drenched beaches. Just a bed and just an alarm clock, says your time is up. Go find another body – boy, girl – in the Flesh Parade. The line-up never changes. Sure, nobody’s perfect. Just good at perfect crimes. Have the standard phrases; ask the time. How about the weather? Don’t care about the spots. My only interest is your mind. (Got the time for a grind in the Flesh Parade?) The Flesh Parade. The line-up never changes, it only fades away. The clammy hands, down, down in the Flesh Parade.

Purity

Pumping fiercely at the fire, face aglow, reflected flames. Grits his teeth and bites his tongue. Scared, screaming ringing in his head. Scorn, impatient, swelling up inside, bellow arms persist, piston legs steam on, and on and on and on. Dance on burning bridge to gutted city. Licks the sweet sweat of success from his lips. Shouts orders to the troops. They’re armed with cleansing petrol. Faster he pumps – faster faster! For purity: he seeks purity. Each injection flames leap higher, sweeping through the cities, through the countries, cross the oceans, over mountains. Burning up the world in a swaddling of blue heat. Accompanied by a lullaby of hysterical laughter, a laugh for purity: seeking purity. They came, took him away, away from the ashes of the world, and he was happy to go. His job was done. The world had been cleansed, catharsis. Took one final look and smiled. The solitary survivor. Pure, clean, clear from smoke and black, in a building he called home.

Purified (Instrumental)

Forgotten

The sun was out, the streets deserted, everyone asleep. Deep in his crypt, King Arthur cried. Tore up the script. He tried to save us, but he failed. ‘Cos everybody laughed: the rusty sword, the rotted table. Bags beneath his eyes, tired eyes. Go back to sleep. Go back to sleep. Tired eyes. Bright blue eyes, his hands were shaking, snatching at a cup. Had quite enough, he suffered. Just not as tough as he used to be. Other times, when he was good, he wore a crown of orchids. Take his lady, sow his seed, it’s for the harvest; gardens bloomed. No one mentioned heresy or blasphemy.

Davritt (Instrumental)

Outsider

Excommunicate the heretic! Chain up, crucify the lunatic, the fanatic. We’ve got the nails, we’ve got the matches — light the sky for hours! Got the power, the desire and we’re looking for a thrill. Kill! Don’t know what you did but I don’t like it. Something about your eyes says you just don’t fit. A parasitic devil — stick out like a weevil in a woodpile. Vile, vile … Violation! DEVIATION!

Invocation (Instrumental)

Love in a Plain Brown Envelope, No. 1

Heaven is a hole, there’s a whole lot of heaven in your cavern, in your avenue. Enjoy it, do you, do you? Of course you do. It’s there in black and white – There’s every detail, and every tale delights the fannies and the grannies and the crannies with the antelopes of Lapland. Oh so horny. It’s a perfect land, the lips are lubricated and the pistons always stiff and glistening driving upwards, onwards like a dream. It’s partly human and part machine. Oh, Cyborg! as a man you’re magic, as machine you’re mean, mean mean mean. I’m so horny. Any time of the night, anyplace, anywhere, I’m yours, mean machine.

Love on a Stained Glass Window (Instrumental)

Space Captain No. 1

Uncertain when the idea came, was maybe in a fit of anger or maybe in a dream. The promises of miracles were all forgotten, plans lay rotting, wallowing in filth. No hopes, no goal, and no redemption – a song bereft of passion, a foetus in the sink. A stink of days-old whiskey on his breath, a death-breath [Aiiiiiaaahhhh!] A death-breath. Waiting for catharsis or waiting for a blade. A savior took all the clothes and pulled the final curtain down … wait in silence. And peacefully she tip-toed ‘cross the room and took his hand … White hair bathing in the moonlight, supple skin, lightly tanned. Offering a bottle, with an ounce of courage, gentle voice encouraging: “Take them now, finish it, yes, you can be a film star, you can be a star, you can be anything you want to be.” Take them now, take them now, you can be anything you want to be. Take them now, take them now, you can be anything you want to be. Finish it! Take the bottle!

Premonition 9 (Instrumental)

Premonition 5

He never had a chance, the trap was good, the exits covered. Seen it in a film, they’d done their homework well. The yells would echo “where?” The people played at being deaf, kept their curtains closed. Baby screams, father swearing, watching violence on the box. Walls had ears, ears had walls, blocking out the cries for help. They didn’t want his money, they only wanted fame, and they got it. As photographs came flying in the rain, happy families kept on smiling, floating to the drain: rosy cheeks, hats on, chins up, pin-ups for the rats that sat back. Drinking in the spectacle, the ritual, the sacrificial flick-knives swinging in the half-light. A present for the alley god, who switched his TV off, opened up his window, said “I’m pleased, so very very pleased.”

A Spanish Bridge (Instrumental)

Stoned Obit 1980

Lightning cracked a crooked cross across the sky, above the cross where he’d been hanging for a day (stoned again!). The breeze grew ice, threw knives, blew haloes. Hallowed cinders flew together made a cushion for his feet. There were spikes in his ankles, spikes in his sandals. A spike split the wood, syringed his vertebrae. Spikes in his shins, in his chin, in his fingers. Amused apparitions hummed the Marseillaise. We had to look away, he seemed so fragile. We tried to offer him a cigarette but it was futile, futile, no way through. The guards screamed “Front!”, drew guns, splashed acid; we retreated in the shadows, squatted low and said a prayer. Cameras clicked out of sight; there were fights, there were fanfares. Fireworks flashed across the cenotaph. Kiddies played in the pits, spitting crisps, licking icecreams. A spiv threw an auction for his autograph. (I never thought it would finish this way. No resistance not a word to say. Maybe we’ll meet in heaven, talk about those good old days. I still believe, at least I WANT to.)

The angels landed, cleared their throats and chorused “Crown Him!” They poured a potion on his curly hair – it nearly drowned him. They called a minute’s silence. They called the clowns in, then a cripple touched his foot and did a cartwheel down the hill; turning once for his wisdom, twice for the pearl moon, third as the thief cried out “It’s judgment day.” He rolled his eyes, ripped his shirt, rolled insane in the dirt. Applause ripped the heavens, blew the clouds away. The laughter died as schoolgirls passed around the tissues (pretty patterns). While a message said “We’re gonna miss you. Bless you. Bless your eyes.” And the bell rang twice and we fell as his lips moved. We stared in silence as the news guy scribbled down his final words: “I made mistakes. I’ve been a fool. I tried so hard but never thought that what started so well could end in misery. But my motives were good. I thought you all understood. Don’t be hard when this day is cloaked in history.” And he died with his eyes on. Ash for ashes, dust for dust, in nomine spiritus. Die with your eyes on …

Peace Krime 2

(Vocoder intro, then samples)

Professional

Got luxury lungs, they’re cheap to run. They’re lined with darkest velvet. I breathe in deep, my face turns green. Light flashes on my helmet. Hell, it’s not my choice. I’m shy, like to hide away in corners and saunter down the street so carefree. They don’t allow it. Sparks across the tomb, my cell. Sell my body to the snipers, who lean on distant windowsills, silhouettes behind their rifles. Sure I’m scared, but I carry on, ‘cos it’s one they made me for. There’s wars to fight, there’s claws to bite. Some things you have to stifle. It’s just a job, a profession.

Brill

I can smell a winner. You won the star prize. Surprise, surprise. Loverboy, lucky boy. Take the money and run, run, run, before you change your mind. Us widows are fickle. Run, run, run. [lots of other samples or vocals]

Sensory Deprivation

Can’t you see that she’s guilty? Smiles at you, but her eyes betray her. You should hear the conversations, the confessions to her friends. Don’t you see? Love is blind. Sensory deprivation. Aren’t you just a little worried, when you phone but you get no answer? Don’t you wonder why she never calls? Don’t you see? Love is blind, needs a stick. Sensory deprivation. Get down. Better face it that you’ve lost her. Now she’s in it for the ride. Tries to make you look a sucker. The thing between you’s gone and died. If you really want to keep her, buy a chain, a cannonball. Put a heater in the cellar and a mirror on the wall. You’ve got to keep her happy. Get down. Can’t you hear that she’s laughing? Sells your soul in a starched white roller, tells your secrets to her lover. Spins you round, puts you down. Don’t you see? Love is blind, it can’t see. Sensory deprivation. Sure I know you’re not a bad guy. Sure you care, but you’re overbearing. Showed her rust instead of rainbows. Bought her blindness in the pub. She can’t see. Love is blind. Sensory deprivation. Get down. She’s deprived.

Temper Temper

I don’t know why I shout at you, but I do it all the time. Something simmers deep inside and I just go out my mind. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m really not so cruel. Let’s make up, be friends again, forget about it all. Temper temper, I lose my temper. Must remember to keep my temper, temper temper. You should see me in the night time, when I’ve had a drink. Start to trash the furniture, drown spiders in the sink. I don’t know why I do it. It all seems so unreal. Someone said “Go see a doctor. You really must be ill.” Temper temper, I lose my temper. Must remember to keep my temper, temper temper. But I’m not the only one. You should see the Greeks. Give them cold moussaka, hear them stand and shriek. Tear up all the tablecloths, smash plates against the wall. Start to chase the waitresses and end up in a brawl. Temper temper, they lose their tempers. Must remember to keep their tempers, temper temper. Then you get the Mexicans. God, they can be mean. Stomp on their sombreros and next they’re jumping beans. It’s quite a stunning spectacle. It really makes me scared. Is it just frivolity or something in the air? Temper temper, they lose their tempers. Must remember to keep their tempers, temper temper.

Amphitheatre Shuffle (Instrumental)

Before the End

Before the end, the town was calm. No cold panic, no alarm. The pubs rang out with “Auld Lang Syne” as a politician tossed a coin. It was normal. Before the end, the children played while old men watched them from the shade. Bemoaned the heat, the price of tea, discussed perverse psychology. Normal… A-OK. Before the end, in a darkened room, Tom waited for his best girl June. Fingers crossed, he quietly prayed. “Lie down,” he whispered; she obeyed. It was normal. Ring a ring of roses, a pocket full of posies. A tissue, a tissue, all fall down. ‘Cos we’re normal. Before the end, in a crowded store, Miss Demeanor broke the law. Shifty eyes, sleight of hand, slipped up a sleeve a sardine can. Naughty (tsk tsk) but normal. Before the end, in a cramped bedsit, George slid a razor cross his wrist. Bloody jeans, tearful eyes, unhooked the phone, fed the mice. Nasty. Before the end, in a cushioned pod, Mr. Dial-a-Prophet looked for god. Flaming throne to slice the sky for mankind’s last united cry. “We’re normal! Can’t happen to us! We’re normal!”

Fin (Instrumental)

Transcribed by Nancy Thuleen

THE LEGENDARY PINK DOTS

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Release date and tracklist

02 November 2014
NL MP3 self-released on Bandcamp

1. Live in Sundsvall 1989

Credits

• Niels Van Hoorn- saxes,wind instruments
• Edward Ka-Spel- vox/keys
• The Silverman- keys
• Hans Meyer- sound wizardry

Notes

The single 30-minute track includes:

• Brief interview with Edward
• Maniac
• The More It Changes
• Thursday Night Fever
• Eight Minutes to Live
• Blacklist

from Bandcamp:
A big thank you to Anders Ilar who literally sent me this rare recording this afternoon (2 November, 2014). It features LPDs live in Sundsvall in 1989 on Swedish Radio plus a little interview. Quality is high, but be sure the sound of that raging crowd you hear at the beginning was for a different band. The brutal truth is that maybe 30 people saw the show after a spectacular 10 hour drive through Sweden in the middle of Winter.  Indeed there were literally walls of snow lining the route. Still it was worth it – the hardy souls who showed up treated us well. -EK

THE LEGENDARY PINK DOTS

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Release date and tracklist

1986
BE LP/CS/CD Play It Again Sam BIAS41

1987
GR LP Penguin Records 30016

side a

1. Tower Six – [MP3]
2. The Red And The Black – [MP3]
3. The Dairy – [MP3]
4. Emblem Parade – [MP3]
5. Jewel On An Island – [MP3]
6. Rattlesnake Arena – [MP3]

side b

1. The Shock Of Contact – [MP3]
2. Jewel In The Crown – [MP3]
3. Our Lady In Chambers – [MP3]
4. Our Lady In Kharki – [MP3]
5. Our Lady In Darkness – [MP3]
6. The Guardians Of Eden – [MP3]

***

2002
US CD Cacciocavallo CAD16
PL CD Big Blue SPV-L 0092 (different cover)

27 November 2012
NL Remastered MP3 self-released on Bandcamp

1. Tower Six
2. The Red And The Black
3. The Dairy
4. Emblem Parade
5. Jewel On An Island
6. Rattlesnake Arena
7. The Shock Of Contact
8. Jewel In The Crown
9. Our Lady In Chambers
10. Our Lady In Kharki
11. Our Lady In Darkness
12. The Guardians Of Eden

***

July 30, 2021
US Remastered MP3 / CD / LPx2 Metropolis Records / LPD’s Bandcamp

1. Tower 6
2. The Red And The Black
3. The Dairy
4. Emblem Parade
5. Jewel On An Island
6. Rattlesnake Arena
7. The Shock Of Contact
8. Jewel In The Crown
9. Our Lady In Chambers
10. Our Lady In Kharki
11. Our Lady In Darkness
12. The Guardians Of Eden
13. Curious Guy
14. Premonition 16
15. Love On A Pale Green Postage Stamp
16. Our Lady By Twilight
17. No Bell No Prize
18. Premonition 12
19. The Black And The Red
20. This Could Be The End (Alternative)

Credits

Percii Pylchardd – bass guitar, percussion
The Silver Man – silverscapes, samplescopes, and keyboards
Patrick Q – violins, keyboards, rhythm programmes, mandolin
Stret Majest – acoustic and electric guitars
«i» – keyboards, piano, backing vocals
Edward Ka-Spel – voice, occ. keyboards, electronix
Hans Meyer – saxophone

Produced by Hanz Myre and the LPDs, engineered by Hanz Myre
Cover art- Stephen Barbary

Notes

LP:
The first 5000 copies of the P.I.A.S. LP edition and all copies of the Penguin edition have a gatefold sleeve with printed lyrics.

EDENZH VERKYLZHDE

Bandcamp:
The review said it all……..
“There’s a market for this kind of thing and I suspect it exists on a remote part of the coast of Sardinia”.  For years, The Dots felt the same way. Was this ambitious album the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of artistic tension? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “Medieval Industrial music” or how about a small piece for home-made orchestra and drum machine?
Now after remastering the album it feels like one of the best albums The Dots ever made. I confess it had been slowly growing.
It was our first album under contract for the Play it Again Sam label and were they ever nervous when we delivered the master…
They shouldn’t have been, this one stands the test of time… at least for me.
-EK

2021 Remaster:
CD has 15 tracks, LP has 20 tracks
2xLP- limited edition of 500
Bandcamp: Originally released in 1986 as the natural successor to “The Tower”.The focus, although framed by 80s reality, was set on a truly desolate, Dystopian future with a conclusion so bleak in the “Our Lady “ trilogy, that the band penned “ The Guardians of Eden” for the sake of their own sanity. Ironically, the irreverent pop song “ Curious Guy” emerged from the same sessions. Remastered in 2020 by Ray Steeg and Peter Van Vliet.

Metropolis Records site: Originally released in 1986 and considered a A more “serious” release, with themes of war and politics, Island of Jewels ranks among the more accessible releases in the vast catalog of The Legendary Pink Dots. Focusing more on songwriting than on studio wizardry or sonic experiments, interesting industrial sounds and memorable melodies abound. Remastered.

Printing error notice from Edward Ka-Spel on Facebook: I just heard from Metropolis about the issues with “Curse” and “Island Of Jewels” cds. Somehow all the vinyl/ web only bonus tracks are listed on the tray card of the cd editions. In fact, even if we’d wanted to include those pieces, the capacity of a cd doesn’t allow for this. It’s a serious bummer, but essentially a printing error. I do apologise to all who have bought the cd editions and expected more, but that is technically impossible, alas.

Review

To my ears, this is the moment when everything really came together for the Legendary Pink Dots.  In a way, though, it’s hard to know what to make of the album.  It’s easy to see it as the end of an era for the band — the last album with drum machines, and a natural extension and refinement of the experimentation of 1985’s Asylum.  At the same time, it feels in some ways like a transitional album, bridging the gap between Asylum‘s craziness and Any Day Now‘s much calmer (and, to these ears, blander) mix of late 80’s post-psychedelic pop and almost-symphonic prog.  And bridging it very successfully, too: here are all the wild ideas of the previous album without any of the missteps, and the fuller, more satisfying textures of its successor without its sense of being too “pretty.”  The songs are short, too — a very good thing, since the concision emphasizes the album’s dramatic structure and prevents it from rambling like some of the Dots’ later work does.

Like many LPD albums, Island of Jewels is split in two halves, the first more experimental and the second more lyrical.  The first half may be the best album side the Dots have ever done. (Well, OK, I’ll admit that the brief intro, “Tower 6,” is fairly disposable.) It has an enormous stylistic range, from the clanging, gothic “Jewel on an Island” to “Emblem Parade,” a dissonant piece for string orchestra and drum machine.  There are also two industrial pieces: side one closes with “Rattlesnake Arena,” in which two synth notes an octave apart oscillate relentlessly for nearly the entire song, while Edward Ka-Spel sings modal melodies accompanied by what can only be called melodic noise.  The song ends with a chilling passage in which distorted  voices cry “glory glory, hallelujah,” while the pitch bend knob is spun rapidly. Then there’s “The Dairy,” complete with harsh violin tremolos, a surprisingly danceable beat, and clever but repulsive lyrics about making a porn movie — lines like “Keep them creaming at the dairy / Pumping lonesome ‘cross the prairie” and “Russians do it best, well don’t they, Jerkov?”  Lest you think that sounds stupid, what makes the song great (aside from the incisiveness of the music) is Ka-Spel’s pronounciation: he sounds disgusted with his own lyrics, spitting them out to create what may be the epitome of contempt in music.

Most surprising of all, though, is “The Red and the Black,” which is unique even in the Dots’ varied output.  The vocals are half-spoken, half-sung, and the tonality is obscured by the accompaniment, which consists of a seemingly random but deliciously effective string of jazzy runs for piano and saxophone — avant-lounge, perhaps?  If this weren’t strange enough, it’s interrupted halfway through with about five seconds of post-Baroque harpsichord playing and electronic crash-and-bang, before turning into a clean, beautiful psychedelic pop song, accompanied by drum machines of early 80s vintage.  In a way, the song sums up what makes this album so good:  the band’s melodic sensibilities and their avant-gardist tendencies are perfectly in balance.

And then there’s side two.  As mentioned, this is (mostly) a showcase of the band’s more melodic side, although it’s about as “normal” as the second half of Kate Bush’s The Dreaming.  In the area of tunes, the Dots have improved dramatically since Asylum. Except for the rather awkward “The Shock of Contact,” which is unquestionably the nadir of the album, the melodies have become more elaborate, more sophisticated, more interesting and, oddly, more sensuous.  The arrangements are much fuller than the typically stark synth + drum machine + violin of previous albums, and the songs are absolutely teeming with texturally beautiful moments like the staccato guitar-and-violin counterpoint in “Our Lady in Chambers,” or the dissonant plinks suspended over drone chords that outline the rhythm of “Our Lady in Darkness.”  The latter song ends with one of the “proggiest” sections the Dots have ever done, a beautiful pseudo-classical instrumental passage in 7/8 that almost sounds like an alternate-universe take on Gentle Giant.  At the same time, these songs have a lot more edge to them than a song like “Laguna Beach” from Any Day Now.  “Nice” melodies are undermined by creepy bass notes, or interrupted by  dissonant piano chords.  Even “The Guardians of Eden,” a very tonal and conventionally tuneful piece, keeps itself out of the realm of the merely pretty by maintaining an unsettling major-minor ambiguity and ending just a bit too abruptly to let the listener feel truly calm.

I have to warn anyone reading this review that there’s a decent chance you won’t like this album as much as I do.  It’s hard to argue with the compositions here — they’re probably the most perfect in the entire LPD catalogue — or with Ka-Spel’s absolutely brilliant use of accent and pronounciation for dramatic effect, particularly in the terrifying “Our Lady in Kharki.”  But the arrangements really do sound very dated, rife with digital pianos, drum machines and, on “Jewel in the Crown,” a slightly cheesy guitar tone.  For me, that only adds to the appeal; I like 80s-sounding stuff, and the tension between high art and low production has intrigued me for years.  But if you’re the type to find those sounds really bothersome, you might want to give this a pass.

– Alex Temple [February 2002]

Lyrics

The Red & The Black

Reflecting on the Empire after eight… pig’s head on a plate white wine… The mint imperials circulated… Captain sips his brandy, curses Ghandi, dreams Napoleon and Delhi turns to jelly; Bombay ducks; Calcutta shivers down in its hole… Old England is out to rule the waves again – banging on the table! Routing the reds and the browns and the yellows. Black sky… the missles blast home! (It’s half for me, half for my company)

My union’s name is Jack, and it’s a ripper! hammers her head with a sickle, nails monkey to the tree. The lasers, they beam from the stars and Moscow is charred. Peking is leaking. Tripoli’s stripped (ha! ha!) – Mohammed, he flees from his mountain, counting the corpses in the stadiums with his shades on cos the white light hurts his eyes. And Captain, he cries, Captain, he screams, falls out of bed. It’s only a dream (?) Nightnurse wipes his forehead, whispers “try to sleep… back to sleep…”

The Dairy

Peeling paint, dead cigarettes… old cobwebs on the ceiling. Feeling faint, the spider fled – the flies played hide ‘n’ seek. We wrestled cheek to cheek, pink naked on the sheets. A feel was cheap, a deeper thrill was steeper. Camera peeped, director leaping, screaming, shouting, louder “Roll ’em, hold ’em, hole ’em, Close up. ART! Prepetual motion. Higher! Ram it home now cowboy. Down Boy. Showdown! Shoot that crazy foam across the duvet…” Get them creaming at the dairy, pumping lonesome ‘cross the prairies. Hats spin on their laps. The hotsprings gushing. Play roulette. The Russians do it best – well, don’t they, Jerkov?

Jewel On An Island

Bills were mailed express, black borders ordered PAY. Across the page the figures were laying and laughing… Jenny ripped them up. She ran the bath. Called her daughter, told her “Count to three, then throw the toaster – Mummy’s ghost will watch you from a better place. Be brave!” She braced herself but plugs were pulled. No power, so she crawled into the kitchen, tried the oven. Slipped her head in sideways, raised a hand, switched on the gas… No hiss, alas! She snapped. She snatched the safety razor, slid it across her wrist. She snapped a dozen plastic knives. She tried a dive through double glazing. Taps kept dripping. Rats were running. Vermin squirming in their holes, the neighbours banging on the walls. Outside the sirens were blaring. Babies screamed. The jailer was staring at her nakedness; smiled from the mirror with a key tied on a string. She can’t get out, he won’t come in… Round and round we go. Her tower. MY TOWER!

Rattlesnake Arena

In Cut Throat Lane the chains were swinging. Iron boots with blades on springs were lancing. Silver dance. The ghetto ballerinas tiptoed, blasting. Rattlesnake Arena burning red black red black. The gutter snipeser gasped beneath their melting mask’s that kept on smiling. Dead eyed. Dog’s Breath. Choke! Rattlesnake Arena burning red black red black. The stakes were low, the winner takes a wall to lean on, scrawl his name on for a night. The story starts again.

The Shock of Contact

Astrid, do you recall the Sundays at the Spa with double straws from a carton with a heart on. Who could ask for more? You’d assure me you’d support me as I tried to write that novel in the hovel we called home (OUR home). You’d mow the lawn you’d pay the bills. You touched me there. The Shock of Contact kept us warm. And Astrid, you kept your word, you never said a word, as I ripped up the pages, spent your wages, entertaining friends you hated, making bombs and planting them in galleries. Your salary was wasted (oh how criminal)… They cut the power, they pulled the plugs – they took away the phone. We’re quite alone. We share a candle in the cellar – oooh you touched me there. The shock of contact kept us warm. And Astrid, as sure as blue skies always turn to grey – they came with guns. I tried to run and you took all the blame. They took you and I never said a word – and now you never say a word as I lean through the bars. I whisper my apologies, oh Jezus you stare clean through me. You cut me down, I touch you there.. The shock of contact keeps me warm.

Jewel in the Crown

Give the boy a uniform, a unicorn, a horn, a sawn off shotgun and a cause… an ORDER. Cross a border. Tell him “Heads must roll!” Can fetch them back on poles. No rules except “Amuse yourself, abuse at leisure. Steal the treasure. Screw and sweat. She’ll swear in another alphabet. It’s meaningless… no soul.” You’ll reap and you shall sow. You’ll rape, you’ll know that God’s will is mysterious. Delirious. The fire burns inside. Outside the napalm forms a molten tower. Fit for Kings! FOR YOU! You’re everything. You’re golden. Take your role in history. Maybe you’re just a number but WE know your name and we’ll remember. Yes, we’ll remember ’til the end of time (so back in line you asshole!)

Our Lady In Chambers

Our lady on the Bleeding Ground, her satin gown is trailing in the mud. She ducks a football cos it’s Christmas Day and the shells are duds. And Tom and Jerry drink their Bovril, crawl out from the trenches swap their wives, and swap addresses til Our Lady’s calling time. Then back in line behind your pistols. Swines in schnitzels. Zyklon Tea. You hear him plea, you watch him grovel. Give it to him right between the eyes…

Our Lady In Kharki

Our lady on the wall selling poppies for Our Boys. Our price. Our choice. we bought one-watched Our Lady fly confetti fly the city die in flames as tanks spat amber at the Odeon. A soldier on the podium. One leg, a face that’s splashed with egg… a roadmap stained by cherry brandy, cracking jokes about The Jerry. And we snatched his helmet, pissed and blew our whistles with the steam. The kettle boiling, so we stamped and screamed for China tea. Were playing Shanghai in the cloisters, sucking oysters, dipping fingers, finding pearls the size of avocado pears. The treasure’s there – a shame there’s nowhere left to spend it… Shall we share the powdered milk and wait for God?

Our Lady In Darkness

Our lady in the abattoir. She’s hanging headless, charred. Baby on her breast – there’s nothing left, the milk turned to powder, Twist her, she’s an hour glass – but time has died. The blast was final. Captain’s flat down in the urinal fixing cos he’s sick of shooting shadows.

The Guardians of Eden

With supple hands and iron will, we’ll shape the land – we shall rebuild. We’ll make the world a garden – we’ll only scatter seed. We’ll turn the weeds to wine. We’ll count to nine whenever we are angry. We’ll see our kingdom come. We’re the Guardians of Eden.

THE LEGENDARY PINK DOTS

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Release date and tracklist

1986
BE 12″ Play It Again Sam BIAS30

1. Curious Guy -[MP3]
2. Premonition 16 -[MP3]

05 June 2012
NL Remastered MP3 self-released on Bandcamp as part of The Lovers album

1. MMMMMMMMMMMM… / Geisha Mermaid / The Heretic / Jungle*
2. The Lovers (Part 1)
3. Silverture / Flowers For The Silverman
4. The Lovers (Part 2)
5. Curious Guy – [MP3]
6. Premonition 16 – [MP3]

Credits

• Edward Ka’Spel – vocals, keyboards
• Adanta Blah – keyboards
• Patrick Q Paganini – violin, keyboards
• Percii Pilchardd – bass
• Stret Majest Alarme – guitars
• The Silverman – keyboards

Cover by Barbery

Notes

THE LEGENDARY PINK DOTS

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Release date and tracklist

26 October 2014
NL MP3 self-released on Bandcamp

The Witching Hour 24:37

Notes

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Know ye this brothers and sisters. The Legendary Pink Dots Hallowe’en Special 2014 is available for but a brief period of time, but only WE know how long and right now we’re saying nothing. Cue maniacal laughter, clanking chains, blood curdling screams…

Thank you Alice and Alena for cover concept and execution as well as sinister percussion.

***

Available from October 26th- November 30.